UGH >.<

My mind just goes 'bleh?!?!?!?!' as I look at this ticker compared to the last time. I've gone up 1 lb. (I know for a fact it was more but >.> shhhhhhh don't tell!) or rather come back down almost to that last weigh in weight.  Back on the diet wagon with a purpose. I have become a worship leader in my oldest's Sunday school class. You may be asking - 'why would you need to be in shape for that?' Well its not your ordinary Sunday school class - worship leaders sing and dance and jump around and be crazy. So in order to do that and live....I, er mean breathe afterwards I need to lose some weight and get into better shape. There are other reasons related to a potential job offer but I'll get into that at another time. So we started to get up early and jog/walk the park where we live. My mornings look like this after as I get to have coffee........

Hehehehe I love Garfield! That one cracked me up for days so I kept it around. My downfall for the week - hubby buying and making 5 dozen cookies and pop to do something "special" - SABOTAGE!!!!!!!! But my highlight of the last week has been that the girls are back in school. All 3 ALL DAY LONG!!!!!! If you can't tell I'm doing a happy dance and have been since Wednesday. LOL All in all its been a good week and here is why.....

The PTO board had our first meeting on Thursday at which I was asked if I was still interested in working the Half mile club on Mon./Fri. during lunch. Of course I said yes as I still have no job prospects (havent heard back from the library about that position yet....). Plus there might be an opening as a lunchroom supervisor (read lunch lady hehe) at my kids school which would go well with the 1/2 mile club job. Just had to wait for the go-ahead from the principal and the school board. I'm half way there and if I'm okay'd I already have a subbing position - well potential in the lunchroom.  <--- Me jumping for joy. hehehe Then I went for my training on Friday to be one of the worship leaders in my oldests class. Read - creative outlet that does not require storing extra things (ie. albums, paper, beads, etc.)! So thats my week in a nutshell.

Hope you all are well and having a great week. ~Hugs~Jen

Bleh

No change in weight this past week much. Not gone up or down but sticking at 243.4 lbs. I've been doing pretty good with the snacking and eating what I should not what I want. Even though there is a chocolate brownie in the cupboard calling my name. One of those individual make in a bowl ones. As well as having two kinds of brownie mix in there too. But I've been really good seeing as we have had those for a month now and I haven't broke down and made them to eat them. I just have to remember to cut back on my breads and to only have one hamburger at dinner and not the two that were made for me........even though they are so yummy! All in all - I'm good because its not going up. I was very mad at myself for letting it get back up to 246 lbs so fast. But I back to working on it and we shall see where it takes me. Now if only I liked my stair stepper or bike enough to use them. >.> haha

Take care and have a great weekend. Thanks Julie for reading and commenting! :) ~Hugs~Jen

Life goes on....

So weighed in at 243.4 lbs this morning. Not bad considering it had been up to 246 lbs last week. Part of it was anxiety about the surgery and just saying 'screw this' and eating whatever was put in front of me. Not the best diet or way to lose weight! LOL

So the surgery for bigger biopsies was on the 13th, went well and no complications as of yet. Told it would take 3.5 hrs from start to waking up in recovery - procedure itself was 15 minutes. I was out of there in 3 hrs and thats with the registration nurse yelling at me for having half my chart say just my married name and the other half having my hyphenated name. Technically both are my legal name depending on which document you look at, but anyways. I woke at 8:30 am after the surgery and they released me by 9. Went for breakfast - pancakes, bacon and hash browns with coffee and orange juice - comfort food. Yum! Took my pain pills got home at 10 and was out until 1:30 pm. Was off the meds by Sunday and mostly back to normal. I go in August 1 to get the results. Will be the first time that we actually sit and discuss them in the office vs. over the phone. Results will be back tomorrow but my Dr. is still on vacation which is why I have to wait another week.

But after seeing 246 lbs on my scale I got back on my diet wagon. Also realized I wasn't drinking as much water as I should be. So now its a matter of making sure I drink enough water and watching what I am eating. Which I am doing again and trying to make sure that I am not sabotaging myself - ie. no more chocolate unless its my diet food. Gotta love chocolate flavored shakes! :-D

When it rains it pours.....

Back to the on again off again journaling. Weighing in at 241 lbs last time I weighed myself. Having some medical problems and having surgery this Friday in the morning. So I'm frustrated and not eating right and generally making things worse. But its making me happy at the time. Which is a good and bad thing. I know I shouldn't eat what I want - the chocolate, smores, cocoa puffs cereal....but I get the happy endorphins from it and it makes me forget for a while. But I get frustrated with myself because the weight is coming back - thats the bad part of eating all that stuff.

I have some abnormal - read precancerous cells that need to be removed. I already had one surgery to remove them and had my recheck and there were more. Go figure. So its another surgery thats more invasive and has me a little worried. Which is why I think God had me volunteer in my kids Sunday School 2 weeks ago. The verse was 1 Peter 5:7 Give all your anxieties to God for he cares for you. Can you say hello hammer? And I always remember that somewhere in the Bible is the verse about God not giving you more than he knows you can handle. Just once I'd like to not be able to handle as much as I do, ya know? lol But I worry because this is a surgery that is to be done in an OR not the Doctor's office liek the last one, money is tight with all the testing and having to meet my deductible so my insurance will pay thier 80%, etc., etc., etc.

The girls are playing at a friends at the moment so it gave me some time to check mail and post in my journal. Thanks to those of you who find me and comment that it takes one step at a time. I know this all to well - but it never hurts to be reminded of it. :) Hope you all are having a great summer and I will try to blog more. It might not be about weight loss everytime as I need a place to vent stuff. But then so does everyone. Its usually here or my myspace page. www.myspace.com/butterflichix5 feel free to add me if you have a page there too. Well off to make some lunch for me before I forget. ~Hugs~Jen

So its been a while since I was here. Bad me I know. Things are good. Diet's not so good but I'm making sure I make healthy choices. I've been working more on my spiritual than my physical lately. I know that both go hand in hand and I need to be balanced to achieve my goal. Last time I weighed in was roughly a week ago at 231.4 lbs. I've been sticking to the 230 range lately.

But the nice thing was I went to buy an Easter outfit to wear and I pulled out the size 22 pants thinking "ok the last pair of jeans I bought were 22 stretch jeans.....". Guess what! They didn't fit I had to get a size 20, which i suppose is what I truly wear unless its Lane Bryant stretch jeans. lol Needless to say I was a little happy about that. Also I'd gone into David's Bridal a while back to try on the bridesmaids dress for my friends wedding. I knew what size I'd need to get over my hips and it was the same thing - the 22 was a little bigger than it needed to be and the 20 fit better. I also found out from the sales lady if you are planning to lose weight its 20 lbs to a dress size. I'd never heard this before and went "does that apply to my very child bearing hips that I have been blessed with???"

Those and my thighs are my big problem. I'm actually about 3 different sizes like many women and I believe as I'm typing this I've talked about it before. But we'll continue. :) My top half is barely in the plus sizes but I have to buy bigger clothing - like that made for plus sizes to make sure it will fit around my hips. It frustrating when I find something that I like in a size that I should be able to wear but my hips/butt prevent that from happening. Its always been this way and it sucks.

Well I hope all is well with everyone of you. I wish you a great Easter weekend and hope that if you have kids you have either enjoyed or will be enjoying your Spring Break together. ~Hugs~Jen

Ugh >.<

Ok first things first -


Finally moved off 233 lbs today. Weighed in at 231.8 lbs. Third day back on the Herbalife wagon. I have been doing my meal replacements and drinking our Herbal Green Tea (or drink and shrink as we call it). And the weight is starting to come off again. You'd think I'd learn that when I know something works to continue to stick with it and use it. Nope of course not. But thats only part of my ugh.

My test results came back and I have to go in for further treatment in order to get it cleared up. The procedure does not sound fun nor does dealing with it afterwards. And then I still will have to come back in 2 -3 months to make sure it is all cleared up or end up with another treatment that is for the most severe form of this crap. If you'd like further details just email me and I'm willing to talk more about it. But I just don't quite feel like putting all the details on here for anyone to read.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying their winter season. We finally have some snow here in Michigan. Kids had two ice/snow days last week. The second one was really a power outage in the school but they didn't care either way. ~Hugs~Jen

Not much in the way of weight change other than I've been feeling like crap. You'd think I'd have learned not to kiss the sick kids. >.< Evidently not! lol So I'm fighting it off once again. Not to mention that I had a Dr appt. yesterday - one of the girl Dr ones - that is messing with me. It was a callback from my prior one. Those of you girls/women out there know that a callback from a typical appt. is not usually good news. Well had some testing done and find out the results end of next week if I remember right. Yippee!!

Ok but in other news I have been using the SparkPeople website everyday and I really like it. It gives me exercise ideas, food recipies, a food journal and a place to vent to myself about anything and everything. As well as a page that people can connect with you on and forums or communities that you can discuss anything. Like a Bookworm one - which of course I am a member of. :D I got the idea for books on tape to read/listen to while exercising using my mp3 player. And then found a bunch of older books online that were free to download and loaded up my mp3 player. I am currently rereading the Anne of Green Gables series.

My weight has stayed the same over the past week. Not gone up or down. I'm thinking its because I have been using the food journal and tracking what I have been eating. It calculates your daily caloric intake needs and tells you in carbs, calories, fats, protein and I added sodium to track. Which really helps me to know when I have overdone it in a day or that what I am eating really isn't as good for me as I thought it is.And you can add foods that you eat on their so the info comes right up when selecting a food item for your meals.

Hope everyone is well this week. Thanks for the comments from those of you who have been checking up on me and those of you who are new - welcome! :) ~Hugs~Jen

A new year, a new beginning

So this morning weighs at 233 lbs according to my scale (technically 233.4 lbs). After having a healthy bowl of mac and cheese for lunch with my girls I'm typing on here again. :) Not the best meal but I didn't feel like making a seperate one for me too today. Waiting on an Herbalife delivery to get back on the wagon. But that doesn't mean that I wasn't smart when I went shopping last friday. I bought fruit and yogurt for my breakfast, to alternate with the raisin bran that I bought the last time I went shopping. And I made sure to pick up the ingredients I'd need to make the shake bars that usually get me thru the day.

So I'll make some bars for tomorrow and get the ball rolling. I now have a reflective carrying case for my mp3 player if/when we do get out to run/jog/walk in the mornings. Always helps to concentrate on music for me when exercising. I guess it would be rude to do that if my hubby goes along with me in the morning too tho......>.> But it will come in handy when I decide to try to make it to 300 steps on my lateral thigh trainer by the end of this week. I'm talking 300 a day not per week. Eventually I'll work my way up to 1,000. Not all at one time tho - aghh that would kill me. But I think between the thigh trainer and doing the walking video and any other walking outside will get me to 1,000 steps a day quite quickly.

I've also found a site that I like using so far. Food journal, exercise tips, and message boards. All found on www.sparkpeople.com If any of you decide to check it out and join will you use my name as a referral - butterflychix5 please? :) It just gets me extra points which evidently aren't worth anything but still fun to see who has joined. :)

Hope you all had a wonderful New Years Eve and are enjoying 2007 so far. I know I'm enjoying the 50+ degrees weather here in Michigan. :D ~Hugs~Jen