Goal not in sight.....

As I sit here feeling yucky this morning, I know there is now way to reach my goal of 210 lbs. by Sunday. So I'm looking at what I have done so far this year. A little over 3 years ago I was at 235 lbs. roughly At the end of this year I am at 235.6 lbs this morning, mind you that is with a few extra heavier layers of clothing on so I'm thinking its more like 233 or 234 lbs. Then 2 years ago for my brothers wedding I was roughly at 249 lbs. and then started this year at 242 lbs.

So even at 235.6 lbs. thats 14 lbs. lighter than I was at my heaviest, thats the weight I was a little over 3 years ago, and thats an accomplishment in itself right there. I can't remember exactly but its either 10 or 15 lbs. you pack on each year just by doing the same things and not doing any exercise and such. If its 10 lbs. I've taken off a year and a half worths of weight gain. If its 15 lbs. I took off all but one lb. of the weight gain - still an improvement.

Either way I got tired of not being able to fit into my jeans...its getting to that point again. They have gotten tight again. So I gotta get back on the bandwagon here and start the year off right. Now you may be thinking 'what set this girl off on this line of thinking?' Well this is the third time that my mother-in-law has decided that I am three times bigger than I actually am when buying me clothing. Mind you I have always had the childbearing hips and thunder thighs to go with them. Which made my lower portion of my body a size 16 before having kids. Lowest I ever got was a size 12 very briefly. So after having one kid she bought me a dress for my birthday - a size 3x dress. Ok I had gained some weight - but NOT that much. I'd gone from the size 16 on the lower half only to a size 18/20. My top half has always been smaller. I wore Mediums in High School. Well actually I wore Larges because I liked the extra room to fit them over my damn hips. But the upper half is now at 14/16, sometimes 18 depending on who makes it. So last year and again this year, my mother-in-law bought me a shirt as my xmas gift. A size 22/24 shirt both years. After telling her last year it was way too big and asking for the receipt to exchange it. Never got it and ended up giving the shirt away because it was too big. This year she asked me to try it on and see if it would fit - I didn't have to. I told her it was big and she gave me the gift receipt (which in my opinion should have just been in the box in the first place) so that I could exchange it.

My frustration is that I gave her my old size 16 pants once I couldn't fit them anymore. So now she assumes that I have become this blimp simply because I have always had a big butt. What the hell?!?!?!

How was your Holiday? Other than that mine was great. Wishing everyone safe travels and good times with their loved ones. Now I'm off to brave the returns line at the store to get something else that will fit. ~Hugs~Jen

>.< grrrrrrrr

Weighed in yesterday morning at 230.0 lbs. I do know why. Silly sugar cookies that appeared in my house thanks to my sister in law trying to be cute and spend time with my kids......and then she took maybe one dozen of the 12 dozen she made back home. Most of them went to a teacher appreciation day at the school form the kids. The rest that were left have made their way into my tummy until today when my hubby was smart enough to take them to work and get them away from me. lol Very good thing since I was getting mad at myself for the weight gain and of course eating because I was mad. Damn viscious cycle that is.

On the plus side I've had a flat tire since last friday night and this past week I've walked roughly 5 miles getting my kids on and off the bus. Quarter of a mile there and a quarter of a mile back. So I have been exercising and the weight gain could have been worse. :) Always look on the brightside. Oh oh - not to mention that I only have to watch the stress makers another two days and then I'm done. :)

Well off for another 1/2 mile walk now. Hope everyone is haveing a great Holiday season so far. Safe travels to those of us who are driving, flying, or however you are traveling to get to your family.

~Hugs~Jen

ugh

So this morning's weigh in is 229.2 lbs.....its gone up again. :( But this is also another TOM weigh in. Health issues are still the same but I have a Dr. appt this Friday to hopefully get things regulated - YAY. I can't stand the twice a month TOM anymore.....its gotta be fixed. I have only a little over a week until I am no longer watching the extra monsters that have been causing all the stress in my life. That's another YAY.

But my hubby is pushing to get an exercise routine started for both of us. He wanted to start running.....but its now winter here in the good ole state of Michigan. SO I squashed that idea. I can do exercise indoors and I can run when its warm but running in the cold always makes me sick and makes my asthma 10 times worse. Which only gets really bad if I overexert myself....catch twenty-two there. lol

So I'm looking at my walking DVD and using my weights some. Looked at Self.com's Reach Your Goal program and starting that this week. Which is nice in that it gives you four different levels of exercise to start with, so you set your own pace. And can change paces at any time.

Slowly realizing that my goal of 50 lbs. lost will not be achieved this year. But I'll be happy to get back to 20 lbs lost and then keep going from there. With the attack of TOM's lately my sweets cravings has like tripled >.< Which of course has caused the weight to come back. But dangit I have a wedding next year that I want to be smaller for and I'm gonna do it. SO I'm resetting my goals and reworking my plan to make it happen.

Off to walk a mile in my living room now. Thanks for listening. ~Hugs~Jenni

Weighed in at 226.8 lbs this morning. So I've gone up a few lbs. since the last update here. And I've finally figured it out. I have too much stress in my life....not that I do much but the little I do is enough to be causing health issues. So this means that the one mom I was doing a favor for and watching her kids - will be looking for a new babysitter before the end of December. It is her kids that have caused the most stress in my life and are causing my children to do things that they that normally they would not have thought to do themselves. I had those kids here on Nov. 7th and I snapped at the end of the day. Then not only were they bad at my house they were bad at the next babysitters house. I have no problem watching kids and generally am a very kind and patient person. But I am at my wits end with these kids and the mom. What started out as "I'll watch them until you find a new babysitter" became I am your new babysitter. And not being paid for my stress - so they are done and I'll watch them right up until Christmas break for the kids but not during and not after.
Hopefully this will bring my stress level down and my body will go back to normal and I'll stop eating to get my frustration out. Which means the kids halloween candy is getting thrown out. >.< Not that they have eaten much of it......I've been doing that for them.
My husband is talking about making us wake up at 5:30 (ahhhhhhhhhhhh) to go out jogging in the morning before getting the kids up. We'll see how that goes. I've done it before but not in a few years.
Hope everyone has a fun and relaxing weekend planned. I'm just hanging out with the kids for the day and giving the hubby a night out wiht friends. Thanks for reading/listening to my small rant here. *Hugs* Jen

Not bad .... for a body that hates me :)

So my body can't seem to make up it's mind lately. My TOM is erratic lately. A month ago it was a week late - no worries about it being for any reason other than stress. That problem was fixed a few years ago.....after I convinced him a weekend was all the recovery time it would take vs. him taking a week or two off to care for me and the kids. :) Anyways off track. So a month ago it was a week late. This time it's two freaking weeks EARLY!!!!! So setting up an appt with my Dr to get something worked out. Maybe that will help with my mood swings too.....

So as I decided for grins and giggles to get on my scale this morning to see how much I had again gone up, I got a surprise. I had gone DOWN. YAY!!!!!!!! Its only a little bit but being below 225 lbs. is one step closer to being below 200 lbs. So this mornings weight was 223.5 lbs. Which of course will go up tomorrow because my sis-in-law came over today with sugar cookies for the kids to frost. And of course left half of what she brought for them to eat. Yeah right like they will last that long around me. Sugar cookies are my weakness. My Aunt makes KILLER ones at Christmas time that I always eat a ton of. She even made me my own batch one year when I was pregnant.....starting to see why I gained so much weight now. LOL

Well I hope everyone had a great weekend and thanks for hanging in there with me. Being depressed doesn't encourage much blogging/journaling but I'm getting better nad getting out of that slump so look forward to hearing from me a once again soon. ~Hugs~Jenni

Its been a weird month. Off the wagon and up 3 lbs! >.< Oh no! Kids back in school and I'm fundraising chair for PTO. Of course we kicked off the big event THIS weekend. So I have been busy getting everything ready and not thinking about what I am eating - hence the 3 extra lbs. that have come back to me. Not to mention that I volunteered to help out in another area to get things started until someone else can take over. Hello, Sucker party of one.....

So the kids school rules my life these days. And if you can't tell this blog/journal entry won't really be much about weight today. I need to vent a little....THANKS for listening/reading and putting up with me today. :) I spend so much time there that the librarian (sp?), who I had little interaction with last year, knows me on site and knows my name too! LOL  I've eaten lunch with my kids at least 3 times in the last three weeks at the school. I live there during the school year.

Ok enough about the kids. Time to shamelessly plug a friend of mine. His name is Jeremy Dundas, a musician from New Zealand. He is currently in London working on recording an album. Or rather working on getting money to record an album. He is an acoustic artist. I highly recommed him to anyone. Just take a listen to his songs and tell me what you think. And yes I am quite partial to him. :) http://www.myspace.com/jeremydundas


Hope you are all well and having a great weekend. We are enjoying the lovely fall weather here in Michigan as we watch the leaves change color. ~Hugs~Jen

Plateau

Well I've been off for a while now and just doing my own thing. The amazing thing is that I have gone up a little and seem to have hit a plateau at 225.2 lbs. So with 3 months left in the year I have roughly 30 lbs to go to hit my goal. But I am getting back on track and working hard. It makes it easier that all my kids are in school this year so i have a few days to myself to actually work out alone on. :)

So my downfall has been carbs. I know this and still I eat them. Who can resist french fries??? At leastthey were baked at home and not something from a fast food place. Not that that makes it any better to eat them. lol Gotta tell myself something. :)

Well its breakfast bar time now otherwise I will forget to eat something all together again. THANKS to all of you who posted comments to me evn when I hadn't blogged anythign in like a month. Makes me feel better to know that there are people out there who are reading what I type and who are encouraging me to keep going. Means so much to me. :)

~Hugs~Jen