Its been a while once again since I last blogged. Life just gets in the way sometimes. things are relatively good at the moment. holding at 249 lbs. for the last month or so. I was good over Easter and somehow managed to not gain a pound. :) I've been looking at what I eat and thinking "how the hell have I not hit 300 lbs yet??!?!?!!?!?" Its all about will power - I have none it seems. Kids Halloween candy (yeah I know its old now), Easter candy, anything chocolate within my reach or sweet - and I eat it. Its TOM this week and I have become uber-bitch it seems. I snap at the littlest things and wnat sweets like there is no tomorrow. I'm being good and mostly sticking with fruit, yogert, or my 100 calories candy bars. I just all out feel like crap today and its showing in everything I do.
As far as exercise goes its warmer here in Michigan and there is no longer any snow so I think I am going to get back to walking again. From my house to the kids bus stop its a quarter of a mile. I'm thinking of walking to there and then continuing on to the end of the walkway along the main road. It has to be at least 1.5 miles one way. I was walking 4 miles with a friend at the beginning of the school year. I'll have to see if she wants to start doing that again. I just have to fight the rain to get this done. Maybe I'll even break out my bike and ride some - yikes thats a scary thought.
Last my diet. HAHA thats a huge laugh right now. I have the gung-ho approach to everything I do and then once something causes a snag I stop dead in my tracks. I am an Independent Herbalife Distributor who never sells anything. I actually got into it for the discount on my own food items. Who knew sponsoring my MIL would cause her to be wonder sponsor, trainer, weight-loss person......she makes me sick sometimes but she has replaced her income from her full time job with the part time work she does. I on the other hand have had a total of 4 customers - one was my MIL, the other had such a bad detox period she was told by her Dr. that she should have never tried the stuff and the other two I think bought it because they wanted to help me but then ran out of money to continue. Me on the other hand I just plain can't afford it anymore. So I was looking at the Michael Thurmond 6-week body makeover diet. My boss/principal/friend has done this for the past year and she is looking HOTT. She gave us lunch ladies a copy of her diet so we can know what to eat as we all fall into the same category. I took the quiz thing online to be sure but I am. So I went out and bought some of the foods and now its back to willpower again. You basically end up eating 6 meals a day or every 2 or 2.5 hours. So I am starting this tomorrow and will walk in the afternoon and see how long the path really is.
We shall see how well I do this time. I want this weight gone. I can't stand looking at myself like this anymore. I hate buying clothes that fit only to grow out of them in a few months time because I have gained weight. If I'm going to buy new clothes it better be because i have lsot weight not gained it. I put a picture of me on my fridge from High School - back when I was about 170 lbs. My friend saw it and and said "thats you? wow you were pretty!" Notice the were in that sentance. The only upside I have had was my brother - the twig who finally weighs over 150 lbs. and prolly fits the size 36 pants that he has been wearing baggy forever. He said to me at Easter that I was fat - yeah I know not nice - but it was the "you can't weigh more than I do" comment that I really loved. Either he thinks I have always weighed less than him (HAHAHAHAHAHA never true) or he thinks that no matter what I look like that I am not almost 250 lbs.
Dinner time now. Nite everyone in Jland. ~Hugs~Jen
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