Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Frustrations

I feel the need to vent my frustrations. You all have been great with encouragement and I enjoy reading your blogs too. So thanks in advance for listening/reading. :)

Well I had my birthday and lots of ice cream about two weekends ago now. Then last weekend was Mother's Day - but we didn't really celebrate much. I however did go to Meijer and buy myself ice cream. No one really gave me any gifts it was more a "lets spend time together" weekend than anything. So here is the thing - my weight was up to 234 lbs his past week as of Wednesday. Then yesterday I was at 232 lbs. This morning I got on the scale and it was at 229 lbs. So I know that even with being of my diet I did not kill myself. but I am at everyones throats thsi past week and I am nto liking it.

What I want to know is how can we as women not eat like men? Why can't they be the ones who eat when they are sad or angry or whatever? I do this but not that often anymore because I KNOW I want to lose weight and I know that my feelings are a trigger to eat lots of food I don't need. Yet it still happens some days.

For those of you who may not have read my first posting. I have three daughters and I am trying to lose my pregnancy weight from them. I graduated High School in '98 at one month pregnant and about 178 lbs. Which put me up about 10 lbs higher than I had been before. After the first kid I weighed 210 lbs. Then after the second kid I was about the same 210 to 215 lbs. The third one was not a charm. I was told I needed to gain MORE weight during the last three months of my pregnancy. My Dr told me to drink 2 gallons of water a day at least. I ended up being 230 lbs after my last child. I feel like crap most days. I don't look or feel pretty most days. So I am constantly bi**hy most days. I am slowly getting to the point that I like myself again and I know I have to take care of myself better or face the major health problems that I am could possibly have due to family history. I seriously lack discipline most days and my family is not supportive of the methods I have choosen to lose weight. Which is where you all come in. I need my group of encouraging people to hold me accountable. :) I appreciate it when you send me little notes saying hang in there or your experience with things I am going through. So please bear with me as I get back on the wagon so to speak.

Thanks and HUGS to all. <3 Jen

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen, You took the first step and the most important, which is looking for all of us in J-Land for help.  Let me tell you that you will not find a better group of friends for support.  Everyone is great here, especially when you need them.  You are doing great and just take one day at a time.  Don't look at the whole picture and make smaller goals for yourself.  Try 15 lbs at a time.  50 is too overwhelming.  I know because I am in the same boat.  I have 44 lbs to me goal weight.  So I do it in 15 lbs incriments.  Good luck and know me/we are all here for you.
Christina

Anonymous said...

 You can do this.  It is a hard journey but it is OK to fall off the wagon as long as you climb right back on.  I know as I have been doing it alot lately.  But we will both be successful at this.  Hang in there.

                             Julie