Back to the on again off again journaling. Weighing in at 241 lbs last time I weighed myself. Having some medical problems and having surgery this Friday in the morning. So I'm frustrated and not eating right and generally making things worse. But its making me happy at the time. Which is a good and bad thing. I know I shouldn't eat what I want - the chocolate, smores, cocoa puffs cereal....but I get the happy endorphins from it and it makes me forget for a while. But I get frustrated with myself because the weight is coming back - thats the bad part of eating all that stuff.
I have some abnormal - read precancerous cells that need to be removed. I already had one surgery to remove them and had my recheck and there were more. Go figure. So its another surgery thats more invasive and has me a little worried. Which is why I think God had me volunteer in my kids Sunday School 2 weeks ago. The verse was 1 Peter 5:7 Give all your anxieties to God for he cares for you. Can you say hello hammer? And I always remember that somewhere in the Bible is the verse about God not giving you more than he knows you can handle. Just once I'd like to not be able to handle as much as I do, ya know? lol But I worry because this is a surgery that is to be done in an OR not the Doctor's office liek the last one, money is tight with all the testing and having to meet my deductible so my insurance will pay thier 80%, etc., etc., etc.
The girls are playing at a friends at the moment so it gave me some time to check mail and post in my journal. Thanks to those of you who find me and comment that it takes one step at a time. I know this all to well - but it never hurts to be reminded of it. :) Hope you all are having a great summer and I will try to blog more. It might not be about weight loss everytime as I need a place to vent stuff. But then so does everyone. Its usually here or my myspace page. www.myspace.com/butterflichix5 feel free to add me if you have a page there too. Well off to make some lunch for me before I forget. ~Hugs~Jen
2 comments:
I have a myspace page and never learned how to use it or at least I don't think I know how ... I hope your surgery goes well and don't worry the weight will come off when you are better , uhm but I would add some veggies and fruit there instead of the smores and coca puff's but sometimes you just gotta have the chocalote right... have a good day .
hugs
Sherry
An occasional chocolate before a surgery is like a pre op med. Necessary and bound to make you feel better. Good luck.
Julie
Post a Comment